Living in the Moment or With the Committee?


ITTY BITTY SHITTY COMMITTEE

Ever heard of that expression? It happens to be the little voice in your head that says all those negative things you always hear.

imagesI realize, with some help from others, that I am in a heightened state of awareness right now. Guess what? It SUCKS!! I know what I am doing but I can’t seem to stop it or change it and therefore I am beyond frustrated by it.

Yesterday, I spent the day listing all of the reasons I shouldn’t have my job (in my head of course):

~ I don’t deserve it~ I don’t have a degree for management ~ I have no direction ~ I can’t stay focused therefore I am a terrible employee ~

I could go on and on and on, but I think you get the point. When I say them out loud they don’t actually make any sense to me. I can logically understand that they are not true. So, why is it happening day in and day out with everything I do? Because I am living in my head where the itty bitty shitty committee is residing, rent free.

They are a terrible community! 🙂 Negative thinking promotes negative actions. Living in your head internalizes your feelings and thoughts and keeps you stuck. I have not been living in the moment.

Here I am again, I have the awareness and now what?

aa-choice1

I can change my thinking. I can start new habits that replace the old or unhelpful habits. I am not a bad person and listening to myself say that over and over is not healthy, helpful or useful in any way. For me, trying to change my thinking means that I have to recognize when I am being negative or listening to the committee. Now that I know it, steps to changing it….

I am going to start a reflection journal every day spending a minimum of 10 minutes on it each morning and evening. A reflection journal helps to focus on the small victories that happen every day. Like yesterday, the world seemed against me in being able to be on time to my appointment but I still made it on time. The last 2 times I had been late. This is a victory!

Seems small but you have to start somewhere and when you recognize yourself for the good things, the simple things, the positive things you are doing, you are re-parenting yourself in a positive way. You are supporting yourself and learning to believe that you can do this, you are worthy, you have value.

When you start to believe these things (because, after all, they are true!) you stop listening to the committee and it stops running your day, your week and your life.

When you stop living in your head you can live in the moment.

A friend told me that she went on a short trip with her children, twins 3 yrs old and a baby 21 months old. She started the trip by yelling “small victories!” when they all got in the car without crying (including her 🙂 ) Then again when they stopped without incident, then again when they were 2 hours into the ride without major fits. Eventually the older kids caught on and started yelling it with her and everyone had a ball. Why? Because they celebrated everything that went right rather than dwelling on the things that were not going so well.

If I see you running around yelling “small victories” I am going to yell with you and I hope you would yell it with me too 🙂

Living in the moment is not easy for someone who hasn’t been doing it, but it doesn’t mean its impossible. I used to hear people tell me this all the time but it never made sense to me. Ok, I get what you are saying but HOW do I do that??!?!?

images (2)

Psychology today has a great article on Living In the Moment. Here are their simplified 6 steps:

1. Unselfconsciousness

2. Savor

3. Breathe

4. Flow

5. Accept

6. Engage

Simple words right? Not when you try living them. I am here to tell you, this is a challenge!! Stop thinking negatively, breathe through the tough moments, go with the flow don’t control the day, accept what you have and what is, and engage yourself. Why not give yourself permission to do cartwheels in the back yard with your daughter? Truth is, this is my life (your life), when it’s over, I want to be able to say “WHOA! What a Ride!!” and have the biggest smile on my face.

So, you keeps you company every day?

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ashlee
    May 30, 2013 @ 09:24:06

    Made it to work on time today. Small victories!! I love that saying and I have a feeling I will use it often. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply

  2. deborahbrasket
    Jun 03, 2013 @ 00:58:08

    Great post! I so agree with you, how you can change your life by changing your thinking. I also like that list from the mag about living in the moment. One of my last blog posts was on #4 “flow.” I also feel the “savor” one is so important. And when I read #3 I automatically had to take a deep breathe. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply

    • riak83
      Jun 03, 2013 @ 16:58:39

      I am so glad you find common ground with this post. Sometimes its hard to fathom how your mind can control so much of your life but once you get it, its awesome!

      Reply

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