Supermom or Human?


I have a major problem in asking for help – I NEVER do it! Ok, well maybe not never, but rarely do I ask for help. I am not sure where I got the notion that I have to do everything on my own.

When my youngest daughter was born, my mother in law would say, “oh ill get that” and my response? “No, no, its ok, I’ve got it.” As I walk with the carseat in one arm, purse, diaper bag and sometimes even groceries. I mean ‘cmon, we are simply taught through media that there is this “supermom/woman” that should exist in all of us. And it if doesn’t? Well, you’ve got problems!

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Do you honestly think this exists?

Ready for something else kinda crazy? Multitasking doesn’t work! NOOO? (Shocker!!) Yup, I’m telling you, it doesn’t work and research proves it. You think you are getting more done juggling lots of projects? Guess what? You actually are doing a worse job than if you would focus on one at a time.

So, my deduction is this, WE ARE HUMAN! Yup, I said it. That’s right, I don’t have to do everything perfect. Making mistakes is part of my nature – doesn’t mean I should rely on that fact, however, it does mean that beating myself up over a mistake is not helpful.

Here is a theory someone recently brought to my attention. Your life can be reduced to “wheels” of responsibility.

Capture

So here is a sample wheel if I were superwoman or supermom, don’t you think I would be able to handle all of these equally? Guess what? I can’t. It’s not possible for me and that is something I have to learn to accept. I am also learning that it means asking for help.

Asking for help isn’t a weakness, contrary to popular belief. It just means that you are reaching for support. I suppose if you always reached for support and no one caught you, you wouldn’t want to reach anymore right? Understandable. But, there is another side to that.

Surround yourself with people who are supportive and then learn to reach again. Sometimes we surround ourselves with people that can be a little bit (or lotta bit) bad for us. Every friendship, family relationship, work relationship – any relationship period – takes work from both people.  If you spend too much energy on one relationship and the other person gives very little or none, its probably a relationship you want to reconsider. Our “circle of choice” (friends and family we choose to be close to) is constantly changing because the people involved in these roles change and their lives, responsibilities, geographical location can all change making the relationship take on a new role. That is perfectly normal.

Sometimes, we need to be good to ourselves and have another look at this “circle of choice” to see if everyone is where we want them to be. Maybe some people have worked their way in and they are toxic to us, or others may have been pushed out and we miss them. Re-evaluate your circle. Make a list of your family, friends, coworkers etc. and see what you could be doing differently to change that relationship. When you are done,  you know who you can reach out to the next time you need some help.

Trying to be a superwoman at everything is only going to lead to you being exhausted, irritable, strained, distant, unfocused, inattentive, lackluster and its not healthy!! So, stop running the ever speeding up treadmill in life and learn how to move fluently through your life. How to make a choice that is good for you while you take care of others in your life. It is possible to be a good mom, good employee, good friend, good daughter, good sister etc. But its not realistic to think we can do it all at the same time.

We aren’t robots or super anything, we are human and there is nothing wrong with it. I know, because everyone else is human too! 😉

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Romeo
    Oct 06, 2014 @ 02:46:48

    My family members every time say that I am killing my time here at web, but
    I know I am getting know-how daily by reading thes pleasant articles.

    Reply

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