Begin Again


Its been a long time since I have written and shared with you the journey of my 30’s and the journey of finding who I am and what I stand for. Why do I share this with you? Because, I firmly believe that I am not alone with the trials, tribulations, and triumphs of my life. And because of that, if someone can learn from my journey and be better for it, why shouldn’t I share and give that opportunity?

Welcome to an Altruistic, Compassionate, Loving person 🙂

There are a lot of things that I know about who I am, but there are still a lot of questions too. I know my values in life. I know that I want to help people in every way I possibly can. I operate from love first and generally put myself last when it comes to friends, family, work, life, etc. This is something that has been very good for me and very difficult for me.

What I know now is that I am not living my truest life. Why? Because I am not surrounded with the love, friends, family and peace that I desire. Something about my choices has been keeping me from obtaining that reality. What is vital to understand is that this is up to each of us to change. We are in control of our life. God gave us free will to use, not to wallow in and complain about.

So two years ago is when I last blogged. Shortly after that post, I was terminated from my long term employment. This shattered my world. I wasn’t ready for this. I didn’t know what to do. My partner at the time wasn’t in a position to support me emotionally during this time, so I moved back in with my mom. She was gracious enough to let me but it didn’t take me long to feel like I was doing wrong by my children by not being close to them. At this point, my two oldest had moved in with their dad and my youngest was living with her dad as well.

So, I moved to West Virginia again where my youngest was. That was short lived as it wasn’t sustainable for me. My income had reduced by two thirds! I was not surviving. I was racking up debt and selling all the extra “clutter” that I had accumulated through life. This was NOT going to work!

By now, a year had passed and I was feeling much better about life. I had goals, I was back in school and doing well, and my boyfriend and I were talking more and working things out. I was looking for better employment but still wanted to be close to my daughter. Ultimately, I had to leave the area she was in.

I moved to Michigan, where my partner bought a house to flip and I landed a great job. Everything was going to be fine! I was finally building my life on purpose. Putting things in place that I wanted and that meant a great deal to me. Life finally felt like it was going in the right direction.

Its been another year now. Life is nothing like I thought it was going to be a year ago. What I thought I was building, isnt working out.

So, here I am, as I begin again. Welcome back to my journey of living life, honoring who I am.

 

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