Ever-changing Tides

It has been a very long time since I have written anything. I have been busy living life. Or at the very least holding it together. In the past few weeks I have been getting back to where it began. As I was sitting today adding to my lists – one of the many tools that I find I must do to avoid insanity – I realized I needed to start here.

Why was this blog even born? I was at a point in my life where I was lost. I didn’t know who Maria was, or even why for that matter. I couldn’t tell you if I liked a song because of the song, or because someone in my life thought it was a good song. (so, then it must be good, right?) For me, that was the scariest and worst place mentally and emotionally that I had ever been in. It was also the worst physical condition I was ever in as well.


I was at my all time high of 242 pounds. I mean I am 5’9″ but seriously, 242?!?!

I am happy to report that I was able to take the weight off with healthy choices.

So, through the blog you saw my struggles and triumphs and the way I fumbled through quite a lot of it. Some significant changes came over the last several years. Since 2016 really, when I no longer worked for the law firm. It ended up being a really great thing because I was killing myself for a job. That was never okay. However, it was yet another example of how I lost myself.

I am sitting here today with a plan for my future. I know what I want to do with my life and why. I have moved back to the Mid-West where I was originally raised. Not the exact spot but it still feels like home and its amazing. I have spent the last 2 1/2 years here figuring everything out. Sometimes, I didn’t know that I was figuring it out, but in the end that’s what I was doing.

I asked myself a very serious question when my life blew up in my face again after starting to create my life on purpose. Because once I started creating my life on purpose, I mean, its supposed to happen and be perfect – right?! Uhm, no. You have no experience doing this yet, and have no idea how it will all work out and you will still make mistakes. Sometimes they will be BIG. So be prepared for something, somewhere along the way to explode. F. I. N. E.

jonas-denil-BwN1qrhBEaI-unsplashPhoto by Jonas Denil on Unsplash

So the question. Its a good one. It’s one that I think everyone should think about.

What Do I Want My Life To Be About?

I wrote in my journal about how I got to where I was – it wasn’t great. Then I wrote about what I actually wanted. Then I kept living life. Didn’t think about what I wrote. At all.  Here I am months later, having decided what it is that I want to actually do, and how I think I am actually going to accomplish that. As I read back through my journal, I read the key points of what I wanted my life to include:

Garden     Experiences     Routines     Home     Acreage     Time with People

Laughter    Happiness     Nest Egg     Debt Free     Love

And with my plan, yup, all of this, and more is included. I want to live intentionally. I want to live for the Lord. I want to live to truly LIVE. I want to enjoy that time with people. With people who are special to me. Family. Friends. Life has so much to enjoy. We have so much to share with others and learn from others. I want my life to be meaningful to myself to the Lord and to others who are in it.

Right now I work to earn money to pay for choices that I made years ago. I don’t get to do what I want with the money. I don’t get to have tons of fun. I mean I make choices, and every now and then I do buy something. I go out to eat sometimes. I’m not living a burden, but I am not always living for what I want life to be. That is what I am striving to change.

I also have been using questions to guide my path. I can’t always answer them immediately and sometimes they are just providing food for thought. But they are definitely helping me to forge my path forward and keep my purpose in mind.

  1. What defines success for me?
  2. Are my choices supporting my goals?
  3. What do I need to be accomplishing right now?
  4. How am I going to accomplish that?
  5. How can I support my values while doing so?
  6. Where are my checkpoints?

These questions are key to keeping me on track in both my business and personal goals. I get sidetracked easily. I tend to forget where I was headed once enough chaos comes into my world. (I think that might be part of the devils doing….) I have learned that I have to be important enough to myself first. Because if I am not willing to be important to myself and give myself what I need to be supported and successful, who else will care enough to make sure I get it?

So here I sit, excited, joyful, peaceful about the future and what I want to create. I have a the start of the rest of my life every day when I wake up and I am ready to tackle it and make it mine. Oh and you want to know about what I am going to create? 🙂 Its so good! Its coming. Just wait.

What do you do in your life to keep yourself on track? Are you feeling lost and feel like you could use a good boost or kick in the rear? Try asking yourself some of these questions and be honest. Maybe a change is in your future too. Are you willing?

I’d love to hear your feedback and anything you are willing to share. Comment below!

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