Life’s Mission and Getting There

I haven’t written anything in quite a while and I have been itching to do so. There is a lot in my life right now that at times seems in-congruent and at other times seems to be going ok. In the past several years it has been my running theme that I take a deep look at myself and what challenges I am having. I then figure out how I could have made those challenges less…..well…. challenging. Most of the time, I come back to myself. My actions, attitude, inaction, and self doubt, to name a few, all have an impact on whatever might be going on.

Quite some time ago I was listening to 12 Steps to Higher Self Esteem by Linda Larson. While doing so, I created my life mission statement. My mission statement doesn’t have to be shared, but I am sharing:

“The purpose of my life is to live intimately in-tune with my spirit, honoring my wisdom, seeking what is held in my heart with purpose, clarity and commitment. I vow to live each day with integrity and balance, compassionately assisting others using the best of my skills.”

I have fallen a bit away from this as a whole but I am pleased to say that I am still moving forward in my life. Now, the trick is to get back on track with living out my mission statement every day in my life. The other really positive quote I wrote down from this lesson is also important:

“Everything in my life I create, promote, allow or step in. If there is something in my life I no longer choose – I take full responsibility for changing it. I am in the drivers seat and I LOVE it.”

That is so much harder to follow. But it isn’t impossible. You have to take responsibility for everything happening in your life. I have realized that at times my lack of decision, was in fact, a decision. I refused to make a decision and therefore, the result is I allowed whatever could happen to happen. I promote things in my life that I don’t want or like by responding to the situation rather than ignoring it. I step into some situations completely unintentionally but it’s what I do once I find myself there. There are other situations that I create specifically because I wanted to or my actions led them to be created.

Knowing these two statements, fully understanding them and living by them has caused me to be able to move forward and begin to live a life that is truly meaningful to me. Don’t get me wrong, not everything is perfect. A lot of the negatives in my life are still around. But they aren’t impossible for me to remove them. I just have to try which is where the purpose, clarity and commitment in my mission statement come in to play.

Have you ever thought about your mission in life and whether or not you are setting yourself up to live the life that you want? Could you create a better life if you knew what your mission was? Are you taking full ownership of what is happening in your life and setting out to change what you don’t want?

I’m Just Passing Through

It has been a while since I have blogged about anything and it almost seems like I have forgotten what to do. Yes, I turned 30 – this age that in my mind I seem to have made into more of a right of passage with everything going on in my life. Do I feel different – I have always thought that was the dumbest question anyone could ask. The only birthdays I can remember feeling any different was my 16th and my 21st, for obvious reasons. Every day you wake up – do you feel different than the day before? No. Generally people don’t. However, if you wake up one day and think about a few years ago, I’m sure you feel different now than you did then – a few years have gone by!

I celebrated my birthday with some good friends. It wasn’t over the top – except the friend who took one too many shots and that was the end of the night for her! (She knows I love her) We talked and drank – more than I have had to drink in a long time – for several hours. What amazed me is that I can still hold my liquor! And that I woke up at 630 am the next morning without a hang over. I tried some new drinks, played some songs and laughed it up. It was a great way to ring in my birthday.

The rest of the weekend was just like any normal weekend. I dealt with family, with my kids, cleaning, laundry, bills, mail, my car – what else is there to do in a weekend? Yes, I envisioned that my 30’s would start with this huge bang and be awesome and amazing but I don’t think that 4 days into it I can say it won’t be those things…………we are just on the slow part of the roller coaster right now.

I do know that I started this all as being an adventure. I have talked about my children and their amazing wonderfully crippling antics, music, and hardship. I have been faced with more things recently than I really ever thought I should have to deal with. What I am finding truly amazing is that somehow, somewhere I have acquired the skills (that I didn’t think I would ever have), to deal with situations.

I can tell my husband things I used to be afraid to say. Why? Because I know its not fair to pretend something is OK meanwhile in my head I am cursing and stomping my feet because its not going the way I want it. That is exactly how I have lived my life, until the past few weeks. That behavior is only creating resentment in myself towards everyone else that isn’t doing just so. Jeez. I wouldn’t have wanted to live with me.

I can listen to someone tear me down because they needed to vent about things and not lose my composure or stomp away or yell at them. I can hear past the tone of fury into the heart of pain to hear what they really are trying to say. Do I wish it was handled differently? Of course! Feeling ambushed by opinions and thoughts of you did, you should have and I want is not really what anyone would choose.

In the end, I guess what I am trying to say is that I finally just might have crossed over into the grown up world. I feel like it is OK to say what I want, to laugh and cry when I want, to take time to process my thoughts before sharing them. Its very much OK to be human and have an opinion and not be mechanical because you think that’s what other people want. Who cares what they want! What do you want?

The golden key I have been handed has unlocked a new world for me and I’m not looking back now.

Honor Your Vulnerability – The Cheryl Richardson Blog – Heal Your Life

Honor Your Vulnerability – The Cheryl Richardson Blog – Heal Your Life.

Wow, a beautiful expression of an honest thing. Normally, I would read this and feel inspired and then immediately tell myself how silly this was and how much it wasnt actually going to make a difference no matter what. You know why? Because I was laden with shame.

Being vulnerable is scary, especially if you are a person that doesnt want to feel feelings – which I was. Brene Brown has a great viewpoint on this whole vulnerability thing. Vulnerability is necessary to connect to others, it is the birthplace of joy, creativity, and belonging.

Being vulnerable isnt a bad thing, its a necessary thing to be human. Brene defines courage as “telling the story of who you are with your whole heart”. She also says “You can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability”. This is so true. Courage is telling who you are with everything you have, no hiding, no half truths, no skipping that question, that in and of itself is making you vulnerable because you are opening yourself up to the possibility of being hurt or the person you are connecting with to walk away. When you are excruitiatingly vulnerable, you are connecting.

Can you live life without connection? Some might say yes, coming from my experience, you can walk through life without connection. I did. I was something coined ‘the walking dead’. I did what was necessary to get through life, but I didnt want to depend on anyone, I didnt want to get too close – I am married remember? and I have 3 kids – I didnt want people to know the “thruth” about me, they might run.

You know what happened? When the people I love the most learned the real truth about me, because I was vulnerable and told them the truth using my courage, they didnt run. They didnt stare at me with horror that I was this terrible person. You know what they did do? They cried with me, for me, held me, LOVED me, SUPPORTED me, UNDERSTOOD me. So I say yes, be vulnerable. Be yourself, no one else is going to be you, they are all trying not even to be themselves.

I will not pretend this is easy – its probably the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. But, the hardest things in life are the most rewarding. I wont even pretend you can do it on your own, most people can’t. Find someone to help you learn how to be yourself. There are so many ways to do this, but I encourage you, find out what works for you. Its an exhillarating feeling.

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